about ellie.

my story

Specifically here, I intend to focus this snippet of my story on my art practise, my spiritual practise and how Symbology flowed through me.

I have always been creative, and as a child this was free flowing and bought me so much joy. I remember drawing and painting on a long roll of paper spread out on the kitchen floor, with my brother and mum. I remember illustrating and writing stories about our dog Buzz and his many adventures. I remember always doodling on my paper, later at school.

When my art started to mingle with others, into structures and needed to be a certain ‘thing’, at school both early and later as a teen — I crumbled. I lost that free flowing energy and joy. I couldn’t draw or paint real life images, and this meant I wasn’t good at art you see. I remember art teachers altering my work to make it “better”. I remember comments about my work that destroyed me. I remember putting away my art as something childish, not understanding that I was putting away my ability to not only dream, but experience joy.

In the perils of locking something away, I unlocked other aspects of knowledge and interest. I remember studying every person’s Zodiac Sign in my High School friend group, putting them in their elemental group to understand their energy. I distinctly remember having three Geminis in our friendship group (including me!) and starting to learn about Moon signs, and squealing when I read about how we were different, because oh how we were! I remember learning the Tarot and consuming other Psychic’s content online. I remember finding salvation in my natal chart, understanding and playing with something that was bigger than me.

I played the game for a long time, shut off from my art, opened to the unseen as much as I could in those days, and I continually made it to these places and achieved these monumental “dreams” — yet continued to feel empty, just like before. I remember living in my own apartment in inner city Melbourne and asking myself “is this it?”. I remember starting my first job in advertising after University, and I remember asking myself “why am I not as passionate as the leaders here?”. I remember being asked by two managers on where I’d like to develop and grow and I remember saying “I don’t know”.

Travel had always been my salvation. Somewhere away from here, somewhere different and somewhere where I could be free. And with no art practise, and a break from my dread of working in corporate, I started to hear and listen to the whispers of the unseen. I remember getting tickets to Alhambra in Spain on a fluke the night before. I remember walking up the hill at sunrise and feeling something different while I was there, something beyond, something new and something I hadn’t felt in a long time.

I returned home, and I returned to my paper and paint brush. I remember starting my own instagram — Ellie Creates it was called. I remember posting my art then throwing my phone away on my bed, not looking at it for a day so I wouldn’t know who had liked it. I remember being terrified as I had my art and painted terracotta pots on display at my first market. I remember feeling so seen, so naked and so anxious, yet so alive for the first time in a while. I started feeling that feeling I experienced at Alhambra but much to my shock, at home in Melbourne.

Egypt called, and I listened. They say there is a time before Egypt and a time after Egypt and I whole heartedly agree. I remember going there on such a whim with no idea the impact of this trip and how it would change me forever. I booked two tours a goddess one and an archeological one, and had 3 days alone at the end. I remember dancing on the Nile with a group of other women. I remember being in temples and flooded with Symbols in my third eye. I remember everything being so distinct, purposeful and synchronistic that I started to understand that this was what a portal was. I remember feeling like I’d returned somewhere I inherently know. I remember cracking open in ways only that land can bestow. I remember travelling with an Egyptologist, with others who’d studied this history and going into places off the beaten track, where I would return through visions later in my own Symbology studies.

I felt alienated from my reality and was so profoundly quiet when I returned. Living with my brother at his home in Melbourne, in my market research job, I took my notebook of Symbols from my time away, and I started creating. And thus, began the work that would be later known as The Cosmic Body.

I remember creating this work through feeling and sensing only. I remember landing fully in my body, and learning how disconnected from myself I had truly been. I remember feeling safe in my body and learning what that actually felt like. I remember starting to love my body for the first time in my life and loving who I was as I birthed something from beyond. I remember writing and writing and creating and putting pieces together. I remember not knowing what a Symbol was, but then through my experience and recording what happened in me and around me, I could define the name of that Symbol. I remember understanding that everything is connected. I remember writing such profound things, things that I would later know to be ancestral wisdom, birthed through channelling.

I remember being made redundant from my job and being in such a state of shock, that I used the last 10 Symbols I had yet to write for TCB, just to stabilise myself - and to my surprise it actually worked. I remember 3 days later being offered the same job but in another section of the company, and I remember honouring that pull and nudge deep within, and saying ‘no’.

After experiencing such a profound homecoming + reclamation and finding such light within myself + this world, for the first time in this life… it was only fair that the dark came knocking too. It too wanted to utilise my gifts, to support, challenge and jolt me into birthing something for it too. The darkness had been in the eaves, jolting me through the years, nudging me as if to say ‘don’t forget about us’. For it knew, it had to support me to cultivate stability in my body before I could learn how to descend, die and grieve.

It started with travel to Glastonbury, Mary Magdalene land in Southern France and to my ancestors home — Sardegna. I remember descending and being in ceremony with the dark goddess and dark priestess at the Glastonbury Tor. I remember communing with the land and ancestors and spirits for a week in Sardegna, feeling so overjoyed and like I had returned to a home I never knew I had. I remember feeling my heart open like never before in France.

It continued into just over three months living in Bali. With Mother Bali, my Pluto line, and an altered channel where I could find no relief or access to the unseen. I remember being re-traumatised at a Tantra Festival. I remember my womb and heart breaking open and having no where to go but document the process. I remember meeting so many people sporadically in the streets or cafes and the conversation would always turn into a discussion about darkness. I remember being in pain, crossing thresholds, grieving the light I had cultivated through TCB and feeling so adrift. I remember reading about the underworld, Persephone and the different gates. I remember moving through years of being afraid of the dark, into a space of play, authority and curiosity. I remember birthing a body of work that began as The Dark Body and then transformed into Cosmic Unification.

I explored the dark initially through a lens of clearing, purifying and releasing dark entities, and distortions in our body and the opposite (light) counterpart to rebalance. At the same time I was dying, a part of me had left, my innocence was destroyed and the dark feminine came out to play and cause havoc. As with the dark, in the absence of light, there was absence of wisdom and lack of clarity. I had formed a work full of pairs of Symbols, but I was in pieces. So I travelled back to Sardegna, meeting with my step-mum and brother.

I remember meeting with the star elders. I remember being initiated into my blood line. I remember purging and bleeding into the land. I remember crying and crying and the land consoling me, reaching out and saying to me ‘it’s all going to be ok’. I remember star gazing. I remember being in a Nuraghe, at the top of a great hill, in the top of the structure, with my phone in my hand, recording my voice stating: “each pair has a cosmic Symbol!!!”. And from there, channelling what was to become the Starlight aspect in this body of work — extrapolating the dark and the light, into the sacred three, the trinity and triangle.

I remember returning later to Melbourne, with what felt like bandaids over my cracks and fissures, with three fleshed out bodies of works, full to the brim with energies like I had post Egypt, and no money. It seemed to me, all I had and all we ever truly have is our connection with ourself. Everything else is temporary.

I remember being in Melbourne and being able to grieve, be and unravel fully in safety with family. I remember finalising and sealing Cosmic Unification into its initiation form and becoming enamoured and overjoyed sharing this work with others — the work that was remember as the core of my essence. I remember completing two more bodies of work during this time, fleshing out a map of eight that would continue to take form in their own time. I remember rebirthing into the medicine woman, the queen archetype and the star being. I remember reconnecting with Elunah, the Ancients and midwifing, visioning, birthing and creating the system, structure and design that would hold the Symbols and my studies for my lifetime. I remember finding peace again, breathing normally again and finding my dreaming and joy once more. I remember things making sense again, even just for that moment. And I remember writing this story with a smile on my face, to those that would read this one day.

For this journey was always for me, primarily. To move through initiations, origin energies and mysteries for my soul growth and path. But what came through grieving, through being in stillness after birthing so much in such a short period of time, was that, this was also for others. In servitude to something beyond, something ancient, something mysterious and something revolutionary.

And so I thank you for reading this story, for finding resonance and for being here. I certainly don’t have all the answers but there’s a part of me, that will never stop creating, birthing, record-keeping through my life’s journey. What was revealed during this process was that there’s also a part of me that was born to share this work with others. To cultivate and create something for the collective, the body, the community, the earth and the soul. To steward, to teach, to guide, to heal, to love and to connect, in devotion to the dreaming and joy and freedom for us all.

This space, is one of community, devotion, healing and studying the mystery. There are eight works that feed into all offerings here as well as my own innate gifts that I have recovered in this birthing process. I have created over 500 Symbols and energetic artworks in just 18mths during an initiation of a lifetime. There is something here for everyone, and I truly believe there are no coincidences, everything is as always, connected. If you find yourself here, I encourage you to explore, read, connect and feel into where your soul is nudging you to go and receive.

With all love, and thank you again,
Ellie.